Forced into Marriage: Rida and Hamid’s Silent Struggle to Connect

Shazia Mehboob 

Islamabad: Rida* was not born even when her father fixed her marriage with one of his nephews, Hamid*, a son of his elder brother, in a remote village of Jacobabad, a district of Sindh.

Hamid, her husband now, was only one year-old then. 

They grew up together in the same house, but their minds did not quite click. The couple has been married for three years now, yet they live like strangers in one house. 

Hamid* is an undergraduate student at a university in Karachi, but the girl, Rida*, never got the chance to go to school. Even though three years have passed since they got married, they have not been able to live like a normal couple. 

The couple was forced to marry when Hamid* was 18 and Rida* was 17, and both were resisting marrying each other. Three years have passed since their marriage, but apart from their first night together, they haven’t talked to each other. 

“I had resisted marriage, but the emotional pressure of my family forced me to surrender, said Hamid*, adding that “my father is a heart patient, and I would be held responsible for any bad health situation for the  father.” 

Jacobabad, Ghotki, Tharparkar, and Kashmore are underdeveloped districts in Sindh province where traditions often take precedence over basic human rights, regardless of whether it’s a girl or a boy. 

As per the annual status of education report 2021, an estimated 20 percent of children aged between six and 16 years are out of school in Tharparkar. 

Read More: https://thepenpk.com/child-marriage-a-menace-robbing-womens-right-to-live-learn/

“Forced or child marriage is a viral disease that spreads day by day and ruins the lives of the people,” said Advocate Abdullah, a child rights activist from Sindh. 

Abdullah emphasized that the Sindh Child Marriages Restraint Act, 2014, deems any marriage contracted by a person (male or female) under the age of eighteen as illegal.

According to the law, individuals below eighteen years of age, regardless of gender, who enter into marriage will face punishment, including rigorous imprisonment ranging from two to three years, along with a fine.

Despite being in effect for nearly 11 years, the law has not been effectively implemented, failing to address the issue in its entirety, the child rights activist lamented.

Rida doesn’t know much about her rights, which are supposed to be protected by both religion and the Constitution of Pakistan. She believes she has to follow whatever her parents, especially her father, decide for her life, whether it’s about her education or her right to marry.

Rida* and Hamid* are not the only young couple forced to stay together due to deeply ingrained traditions; it’s a common practice in the village, said Jamal Baloch*, a local rights activist who preferred not to be named to avoid implications. 

In the region, boys can marry a second time if they are not happy with their first wife, but girls don’t have that option, said Baloch*.

Baloch*, who works on early marriage issues in Kashmore district of Sindh, explained, “Here, there’s no tradition of asking a girl if she wants to marry someone. Boys face the same issue. Many people here believe that if a girl is born into a family, she will be married to a boy from the same family. Before the child is even born, if it’s a girl, her marriage is decided with a boy from the family,” he explained.

Sobia Khateeb, a clinical psychologist based in Islamabad, says the profound mental health consequences forced marriages inflict on couples, especially girls residing in remote areas. She emphasized that the absence of adequate mental health support exacerbates the situation, leading to delayed intervention.

Read More: https://thepenpk.com/the-abominable-practice-of-child-marriages/

As a result, girls suffering from deteriorating mental health are only brought in for treatment after months, prolonging the recovery process, she added.

Baloch* holds a low literacy rate responsible for early child marriages. He said that in our village, there are about 1000 people, and there is single primary school for boy and girls school exists on papers, not on the ground.

 The building for the girls’ school was never constructed. They hired a teacher on paper just to receive a salary. When the education department inspected, the teacher set up a temporary school in her house and gave free books to the students to keep them quiet,” Baloch* explained. 

His village is not the only one lacking basic education facilities, which greatly affects the lives of children, especially girls. Villages in all three above-mentioned districts of Sindh face similar issues, leading to long-term consequences for boys and girls.

Some non-governmental organizations are working on raising awareness, but their efforts are not enough considering the level of backwardness in the region. So far, they have mainly focused on reporting early or forced child marriages, Baloch added. .

How can we overcome this challenge without involving these communities in awareness sessions? He questioned.

“Not being educated is a major reason why children are forced into marriage,” he stressed. He mentioned that around 20 percent of marriages in the region involve children, with a higher proportion of girls than boys.

He explained that the common belief about marriage is focused solely on the sexual aspect, while other needs and aspects of the relationship are often ignored.

In almost every marriage in the village, compromises are made. Some couples manage to understand each other and live normal lives after marriage, but the case of Rida* and Hamid* is exceptional.

As per the Pakistan Demographic and Health Survey 2017–18, child marriage prevalence in the country is about 18 percent. 

Read More: https://thepenpk.com/rise-in-child-marriages-in-flood-affected-areas-study/

This viral disease is not limited to one province or a region, said Irfan Khan Afridi, a child rights activist from Khyber, a newly merged district of KP province. 

Afridi holds humanitarian emergencies responsible for early child marriages in the province.

Referring to the 2005 earthquake and recent past floods in KP, Afridi said, “Women and girls are disproportionately affected during emergencies, and it’s mandatory to sensitize communities for birth and marriage registration.”

Highlighting the dearth of educational opportunities for girls in tribal regions, Irfan Khan emphasized that without access to education, girls are often relegated to domestic responsibilities, leaving them susceptible to early marriages.

He expressed hope that upgrading educational facilities would enhance public awareness and alleviate the situation.
*Names have been changed to hide identity.